


I Was Abducted By Aliens

by belmanoir



Category: The X-Files, Twitch City
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-01
Updated: 2012-04-01
Packaged: 2017-11-02 21:10:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/373374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/belmanoir/pseuds/belmanoir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Krycek rents Hope and Curtis's spare room.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Was Abducted By Aliens

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mrs_laugh_track](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrs_laugh_track/gifts).



> Written for More Joy Day 2010. Thank you to greensilver, gwyneth rhys, and Sonia for brainstorming help.

Hope came home from work exhausted and smelling like french fry oil to find Curtis watching Rex Reilly with a complete stranger. Right, the new roommate. He had a round face and short dark blond hair, and he was wearing a Henley and black jeans. Very, very tight black jeans, Hope couldn't help noticing. She surreptitiously patted down her hair. "Which episode?" she asked Curtis. 

He glanced at her. "I Was Abducted By Aliens."

"The probe was the most painful experience of my life," the guest said. "I thought nothing could be worse than giving birth to twins, but boy was I wrong!" The audience laughed appreciatively. Curtis's expression didn't change, but the new roommate snickered.

"They laughed at her," Rex said. "They smeared her name, dredging up her history of drug abuse and fraudulent insurance claims. They took it to the limit to cover up her story, but on the Rex Reilly Show, we give you the uncensored truth! We'll be back after these messages, with more exclusive personal accounts." The theme music played and Hope stepped forward. 

"Curtis?" she prompted.

Curtis put the commercials on mute. "Oh, right. Hope, this is Alex Krycek, our new roommate. He's American. Alex, this is Hope."

Alex held out his hand for her to shake. Something about the movement caught her attention, and she realized suddenly that his other hand was made out of rubber. Oh! She smiled brightly at him, careful not to stare. "What brings you to Toronto?" 

"I'm here for work," he said shortly.

"What kind of work do you do?" He shot her a hunted look. "Oh, I'm sorry, you mean you're looking for work. Well, that's nothing to be ashamed of. I just started a new job myself."

He didn't answer, just watched her nervously. Poor thing, he was shy.

###

"Hope, I think you're getting too close to Alex."

Hope gave Curtis a sharp look. "What are you implying, Curtis?" 

"I'm _implying_ that Alex is evil. Obviously, transparently evil. He's probably in town to assassinate someone."

"Curtis!" Hope said, suddenly hopeful. "Are you _jealous?"_

There was a pause. "Of course I'm not jealous," Curtis said forcefully. "I just don't want to see you get hurt. Literally."

Hope sighed. So there was nothing going on with Curtis _or_ Alex. Because whatever Curtis said, cooking dinner with someone every night didn't constitute getting very close. And she was starting to suspect that the only reason he cooked dinner with her every night was because he disliked going outside almost as much as Curtis did. Still, at least he did _something_ other than watch TV. "Alex is not evil."

Curtis ticked points off on his fingers. "Let's see. He wears a leather jacket, speaks Russian, locks his room when he goes out, won't go into the kitchen or living room unless the blinds are down, won't tell you where he works or what he does for a living--"

"Curtis, you're just being paranoid."

"He blocked up our toilet with a strange alien substance, have you forgotten that? The plumber cost sixty-three dollars, and he didn't chip in."

"He just had a stomach flu. He's sensitive."

"'He had a stomach flu' is not actually an explanation for that black goo."

Hope rolled her eyes.

"Craig says the plumber hasn't been heard from since. He just poof!--disappeared, after unblocking our toilet. Doesn't that seem suspicious to you?"

"The plumber probably just took a spur-of-the-moment vacation!" Hope would like to take a spur-of-the-moment vacation. Even just a weekend getaway to Niagara-on-the-lake. Too bad Curtis would never leave the apartment.

"What--what about the way he treats animals?" Curtis asked triumphantly.

"You know Alex didn't _mean_ to step on Lucky. He's just easily startled."

Curtis gestured wildly. "He has a fake arm!" 

Hope was shocked. " _Curtis!_ A person isn't evil simply because they have a disability!"

"I have nothing against people with disabilities. That arm is not a disability, it's a sexy mutilation. How can you be _so naïve?_ Don't you watch television?"

"Real life isn't like TV, Curtis, you should remember that," Hope said severely. "Anyway, if he's so evil, why did you rent him the room?"

Curtis looked at her as if he couldn't quite believe how slow she was. "He paid double the rent up front."

###

Hope was awakened by shouts. She blinked into the dark and looked at her clock. 3:48. "Curtis?" she called. Then she recognized the voice. Alex. She hurried down the hall to his room and pushed the door open. 

Alex was thrashing and tangled in his blankets. "No!" he said through gritted teeth. "Nyet!" She thought the rest was in Russian.

She rushed to his side and shook him awake. "Alex! Alex, you're all right!"

"Augh!" Alex sat up in bed, shaking and gasping. "Oh God. _O bozhe moi._ Oh, fuck."

Hope put her arm around him and smoothed his head back from his forehead. "You're all right. You're safe now."

"I dreamed they cut off my arm," he said hoarsely. 

Hope swallowed. "Um." 

Alex glanced down at his arm. "Oh," he said in a wrecked voice, and pressed his face into her shoulder. 

Hope tried not to feel pleased, but it was nice having someone who would let her take care of them. And not just in the way where she bought all the groceries and cleaned the apartment, either. "I'm so sorry, Alex," she said, rubbing at his shoulder. "Did it have to be amputated?"

He shuddered. "No. They just liked hearing me scream."

Hope blinked. "Someone cut off your arm without anesthesia? Wh--why?" Had he been in a gang? She hoped they had been prosecuted. Oh God, poor Alex.

"Why?" Alex laughed raggedly. "Why _not?_ " He raised his head and looked at her. His face was streaked with tears and his eyes were huge and shadowed. His teeth flashed in the dark as he smiled. "I'm not a very nice boy, Hope."

She frowned. "Are you trying to scare me off? It won't work. You--" She tried to think of something more tactful to say than _You're not really very scary._ But before she could, he leaned in and kissed her. 

He kissed her like he was desperate, like she was water and he was dying of thirst. Hope couldn't remember the last time someone had wanted her so much. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him back.

After what seemed like a glorious eternity, he pulled back. "I--let me put my arm on."

"You don't have to," she said firmly. "I don't mind at all."

He cleared his throat. "I have a hand with vibrators on the fingertips."

Hope blushed. "Oh, well, in that case."

###

She lingered in the kitchen doorway, feeling unaccountably shy. Alex was hunched over the toaster. After a few moments admiring his--his _shoulders_ , Hope moved forward and put her hand on his arm. He jumped about four feet, knocking the toaster onto the floor. 

"Oh, sorry!" she said, mortified. "I didn't mean to startle you." He fixed his brown eyes on her and didn't say anything. She took a step closer, licking her lips nervously, and his eyes fixed on her mouth. She smiled, and then he was pressing her up against the closet door and kissing her. He was breathing like he'd run a marathon already, and she hadn't even done anything yet. 

He groaned, and she opened her mouth under his. He lifted her with one hand under her thigh like-- _Curtis,_ she thought, and then she didn't think anything else for a while, because Alex really was a very good kisser.

###

Curtis came to stand behind her in the doorway to Alex's empty room. "I told you he was evil," he said.

"Oh, honestly, Curtis," Hope snapped. "Stealing our television hardly makes him a criminal mastermind." She felt used, and a little sad. But it _had_ been really good sex. She was pretty sure she'd come out on top of this one. Not that she would ever say so to Curtis.

Curtis made a deeply unconvinced noise. Hope sighed and leaned back against him. "Just find another one on Craigslist, and Newbie and I will go pick it up right away."

"You'd better hurry," Curtis said, wrapping an arm around her. "Rex Reilly is on in an hour."


End file.
